Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain
And the difference between the two.
Hey there!
As much as I love diving deep into self-reflection and healing work…sometimes healing feels exhausting. Sometimes healing feels like an overextension of your already-overextended heart. Sometimes healing feels like taking 1 step forward and then 5 steps backwards, or maybe just rolling all the way back down the hill. Sometimes healing feels downright painful.
I recently learned in therapy that there’s a difference between clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain is in service of a greater purpose — it’s growing pain; the discomfort of shifting into something new. Dirty pain is the pain of resistance — it’s the pain we experience when trying to avoid the discomfort growth requires.
As the saying goes: Would you rather feel the pain of staying where you are or the pain of growth?
I’m learning to choose clean pain. I experience discomfort as I grow and change, but the fruits of that discomfort are invaluable. I’ve started to love myself more than I’ve ever loved myself before & I feel proud & honored to be me. I’m a better partner, daughter & friend. The clean pain was (and is) more than worth it. 💛
Tell me: Are you experiencing any clean (growing) or dirty (suffering) pain right now?
“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself, and only herself.” — Maya Angelou
What am I avoiding just because the next step is uncomfortable? Is the discomfort worth the gain?
My best investment is in myself.
My confidence soars higher each and every day.
I give myself permission to take time for me.
I let go of apologizing for being my authentic self.
✨The Black Women’s Healing Book Club is back! On Tuesday, 5/17 at 6 PM we’ll be discussing “You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience” AND one of the collection’s contributors, Dr. Jessica J. Williams, will be joining us to discuss her essay “Black Surrender within the Ivory Tower”.
✨Want to prepare for the book club? Read the Exploring Self post: “The 10 Best Quotes from You Are Your Best Thing”.
✨Are you following me on Instagram? Check out my Reels for more affirmations.
